I Have Either Outdone Myself Or Have Lost My Mind, Either Way, I'm at 11,445 Words

I got my writing done early today! The timer is the best thing ever... it has really unleashed my creativity, and by creativity I mean I have completely given up on plot. I don't see this as a problem, because I'm having fun again. Her is an update on Grace, the postmodern professor who has been battling a sense of 'ennui', which has escalated into a full blown life crisis. This is a long excerpt... sorry. I hope you enjoy it.

Her first act of rebellion had been a decision to openly communicate the things that she truly loved. She began by putting up a poster of her favourite actor: Emilio Estevez. Emilio’s career was littered with blockbuster hits as well as smaller, arty films that received less attention but more critical acclaim. She loved them all, and she loved every incarnation of Emilio, from the cherub faced athlete in the Breakfast Club to the moustachioed hard nosed cop in the Stakeout film series(1 and 2). Sharing what she loved with the shitsters in her department had been a critical error, because they thought she was being ironic, and it wasn’t long before Emilio posters, bedazzled Emilio denim jackets, and Emilio film watching party notices began to appear around the department of Social and Political Thought. She immediately took down her poster.
Grace, though intelligent, could be a little slow on the uptake, and instead of switching tactics, she switched mediums. She began to play her favourite album, Barry Manilow’s “Into the Swing of Christmas,” his third and most difficult to acquire Christmas-themed album. It had only been available for a limited time in selected Hallmark stores. Of course, you could log onto his website and download the album in its entirety, but real fans (Fanilows) had lined up outside Hallmark stores across the country to get their own limited edition copy.
Grace realized that things were going off the rails when she spotted a poster on Gordon Toodie’s office door. It was Barry Manilow, well past his prime, with spiky haphazard looking hair, a far cry from the silken locks of yesteryear. Additionally, Barry looked drunk. A quick google image search of ‘Barry Manilow drunk’ in an attempt to confirm his intoxication came up empty, and Grace realized with dismay that the Dean had disabled the search function that would allow her to perform such a search. She felt impotent with rage. How in the hell was she supposed to get any work done under such conditions?? To add insult to injury, the bottom of the poster read “Merry Christmas, Motherfuckers!” It was more than she could bear. She took to weeping in her office.
She flat out told her students to drop their studies, to leave postmodern theory behind if they hoped to rescue themselves from the shambles their lives were sure to become. Their response was to step up their game, rather than to do as she suggested. One of her students showed up wearing burgundy overlarge glasses (she herself had owned a pair in 1987, along with a poodle hair permanent and old fashioned braces, the ones that covered virtually your entire tooth, thus the nickname ‘metal mouth’ was popular at the time. Tom Cruise had since made braces popular again, and the term ‘metal mouth has evolved out of popular nomenclature.) Paired with the burgundy glasses was a yellow hoodie, no wait, it wasn’t a hoodie, it was a yellow sweatshirt. He was wearing a real hood, shaped like a monster’s head, affixed below his chin, with buttons. It had ears, eyes, teeth, and a tail that was jauntily perched on his shoulder. His sweatshirt was originally a Beatles sweatshirt, but he had added the words “I Fuck” above the name of the legendary band. She had often thought that the Beatles were one of the most accurately rated bands of all time, neither overrated nor underrated. People thought they were the single most influential rock band of all time, and that their songs will live forever in the hearts and minds of people with hearts and minds everywhere. This is an accurate rating. What sort of a soulless automaton would refuse to admit to being a fan of the greatest band ever? That was the day Grace stopped attending her own classes.